WWE Raw Results (6/22/15)
Quick Results:
Kane defeated Dean Ambrose @ 11:25 via pin
Non-Title Match: Champions The Prime Time Players defeated The Ascension @ 4:05 via pin
Sheamus defeated Roman Reigns @ 16:43 via countout
Neville defeated Kofi Kingston @ 4:27 via pin
King Barrett defeated Zack Ryder @ 3:17 via pin
The Bellas defeated Naomi and Tamina @ 3:47 via pin
Non-Title Match: Champion Ryback defeated Mark Henry @ 6:25 via pin
Dolph Ziggler defeated Adam Rose @ 2:59 via pin
Notable Segments:
Show starts off with BRRRROCCCCKKKKK LESNAR and Paul Heyman. Heyman says that WWE want an apology in public in order to return. Cole nearly shits his pants. Brock offers his hand and gives him a nuggie. Heyman offers an apology to Seth for what Brock is going to do with him. He then goes on to say Seth was protected by the Shield, The Authority and for the short term return being champion. The beast is best for business. Seth has a one way ticket to SUPLEX CITY BITCH. Courtesy of Brock Lesnar. They really put him over as a face.
During the Sheamus (URGH) and Reigns match Bray cuts a promo on Reigns. He starts humming im a little teapot and has a tea party. I’m not lying. He says theyre back there waiting for him, find him. He goes backstage and finds a shrine to Roman and the words ANYONE BUT YOU painted on the wall. Somehow we can hear Bray singing, im a little teapot still. I’m not sure if I’m going insane from watching this crap or is this really happening? Oh wait, it is. DERP.
Big Show (URGH) interrupted a pretty good Ryback promo. Big Show looks fat as fuck. It says Ryback is a itty bitty boy. So they fight. Meh. END THIS ALREADY.
Cena cuts a promo. He says he has a choice. He can say no to Owens for a title match. It would be fair, as Owens has refused a NXT title match before. But the title isn’t protected by politics, if you want some come get some. The youtube recap of this is cut dramatically because this promo was crap. He says long windily that Owens knows that if Cena refuses, everything Owens has ever said is true – that he’s just a product of Corporate America, that HLR is crap created by suits and ties. So Cena is going to do what a champion does – he’ll fight, even if he can’t win, he’ll fight. Want some come get some. Owens then interrupts and saves this god awful promo. Saying that Cena cares about what they think of him. Owens cares about winning titles. The moment he entered NXT he won the belt. He now wants the US title, making it a symbol of his excellence. He says he will give John the only thing he wants, the fans approval against the evil foreigner. So he starts talking in French Canadian. I can’t speak French, so god knows what he said. I think I heard new champion somewhere. Cena says that the fans are not indifferent to Owens, not because he speaks French its because he is a suckbag. Whatever the fuck that is. Cena speaks French back at him. And Chinese too. Cena is a clever man. So, he gives us the English, “At Battleground, you want a fight, you got it. I accept.” Finally, something that can be understood in any language, I WILL KICK YOUR ASS. As he points to his own Eyes, Legs and ass.
To close, Seth asks J&J and Kane (URGH) to take him back. But BROCK LESNAR comes out. Seth get welcomed to Suplex City with German Suplexes. Kane stops him with a chokeslam and the numbers game gets too much with J&J getting involved. Seth hits a knee off the top rope and Brock is down. So Seth hits a botched Pedigree to Brock and holds up the title.
Opinion time:
Brock’s a face now and can get beaten up by four people who hated each other until Raw. URGHHHHHH. Plus, Brock apologises now. Not really much of a Beast eh? Remember Dean Ambrose’s push? Me neither. It’s sad really, all the storylines for the past few months were wasted in one night. Finally, according to Bray Wyatt, drinking tea gives you magical powers including being able to voice-over real life situations. As a Brit, I can confirm this is not true. No matter how much tea you drink.
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